The Rookie Workshop for New Homeschoolers
PART 1 -- Deschooling: The Mental Vacation You
Didn't Expect
If your child's been in school for any length of time,
an unexpected mental vacation may be in your future.
Your child's mental vacation, I mean -- not yours.
Often children who are coming out of a school setting
that was less than successful tend to balk at anything
resembling learning the moment you get them home.
That's because ‘school’ and 'learning' equal 'YUCK' right
now. Books and materials that look anything like ‘schoolwork’,
whether they're shelved inside a locker or plopped next
to the napkin holder, do not suddenly become more
appealing just because the geography's changed.
Simple Field Trips
While you're wading through the deschooling process, here are some excursion ideas. You might be surprised what kids don't know about the everyday places we take for granted. Then see if any of these might inspire Junior to come up with a few ideas on his own. (Yeppers, DQ, Game Stop and the comic book store count as field trips, Mom. Think of all he'll learn, teaching you what he knows!)
The Magic Is In The Child
From the moment of birth children have a raging desire to learn, and if you just follow their lead, provide them with a rich environment, give them the undivided time and attention of the people who care about them the most, and encourage their efforts, they will not only learn, but exceed all expectations. By Diane Flynn Keith.
Now, most kids won't be able to articulate these reluctant,
uncomfortable feelings, but they'll likely resist any attempt to start
school in any number of ways: Actively (“No way!”) or Passively (“Sure
mom, that sounds great”, which is followed by an energy-draining
tug of push-pull-drag as you try to get them to do what
they just agreed to do.) They're not trying to drive you
nuts. Really. Rather, they're unconsciously letting you know
they need time to decompress. To flush that unhappiness out of their system, take a deep breath, and
remember that yes, they once did love learning. That urge to learn has been drained out of them. Right now they're feeling burned out and empty and completely unmotivated. I know that's not what you want to hear -- you want to jump right into homeschooling, don't you? -- but I'm here to say, save your energy. Both of my kids needed time to deschool (so did I, but I'll get to that in a minute) and I found that no matter how excited and rarin' to go mom was, my enthusiasm wasn't going to magically jump start 'em. The analogy I always think of for deschooling time is potty training. Sure, you can have Junior 'potty trained' at 9 months, and brag about it to your mother in law, but who's really 'being trained' here? You. Always watching and running him into the bathroom, just in the nick of time. Junior just doesn't have the motor control to do the bathroom thing at 9 months yet, no matter how you'd like to fool yourself.
Now, the time it takes to deschool varies. Depending on the child, and how long they were in school, the process could take 2 weeks or a full 12 months. Sounds like a long time, doesn’t it? It certainly feels long. But, if you rush them because you can't wait to get started, I can guarantee that a month or three from now, you’re going to be pulling your hair out and talking to the ceiling: “Argh! Why isn’t this working?!” Not only did I go through it myself, but in talking with hundreds of new homeschooling parents over the years, I’ve found the process is fairly universal. We're worried if we don't get them hitting the books immediately, they'll lose all they know, they'll fall behind, they'll never get into college and we will have completely ruined them, O Woe Is Me! Our kids, on the other hand, are so mentally fried, they happily retreat into Wii and Gameboy heaven and secretly dream of never, ever having to learn another thing for the rest of their natural born lives.
Relax. Neither one's going to happen. We worry because that's what parents do. And children are little sponges; you couldn't stop them from learning if you wanted to. Remember all those ten-thousand-and-one questions they asked you every day before you ever sent them to kindergarten? They'll get back to that point eventually. While you're trying not to count minutes and days, this would be an excellent time for you to do some reading and deschool yourself.
I would like to also take this opportunity to mention that there is no 'one right way' to deschool or homeschool. Don't believe anyone who says that there is. Every child, every parent, and every family is different. Learn to trust your kids, your heart and your parental instincts once again. It seems like a tall order, I know, but no one knows your offspring and their needs like you. Your homeschooling and deschooling should suit you and yours, no matter how 'weird' or 'out of the norm' it looks to anybody else.
Now, I know you’re worried that you can’t do any of this stuff (and
I’d really wonder about you if you weren't worried), but let me
assure you, you can. Fretting and fussing are normal. I investigated homeschooling for 4 months before I started: I read every book the library had in stock, showed up at more support group meetings than I could count, talked to other homeschoolers endlessly, attended my own Newbie Workshop (hosted by bestselling author Cafi Cohen
Who was your child’s very first teacher?
You. That's right.
Who will always be the best teacher for your child?
That's right, you again. Don't believe me? Sound like so much pie-in-the-sky hooey? Okay then, ask yourself this: Who else has as much interest in your child’s education as you? Somebody who teaches for a living? A stranger who shows up to teach a roomful of 30 new kids every year? Sure, that person might be a fantabulous teacher, but does that mean he loves your kid the way he loves his own kids? Hmmm, well, maybe if you bribed him. How about if you bought him a new car? A cruise to Tahiti? An expensive dinner, a little dancing and a nice Rolex, perhaps?
Have I made you smile a little? Good. That was the point. Now what I want you to do is breathe. That’s right. Quit clutching that mouse in a death grip and just breathe.
You can do this.
© 2006 Cindy Englan
NEXT: THE ROOKIE WORKSHOP PART 2 -- Homeschooling Styles
Out of the seemingly endless array of styles out there, how do you know which one is the right one? Well realize, there aren't that many core styles in the first place (that's just marketing hyberbole), and as for "right", this isn't public school. You don't need to Pick One Way And Stick With It Forever And Ever, Amen. Homeschooling allows you to experiement, make mistakes, change your opinion and adjust everything to suit the needs of your growning children. Welcome to educational freedom!
"It only takes about 50 contact hours to transmit basic literacy and math skills well enough that kids can be self-teachers from then on. The cry for "basic skills" practice is a smokescreen behind which schools pre-empt the time of children for twelve years ..." - from The Six Lesson Schoolteacher by John Taylor Gatto
|
Advertise on RMEC
Click here for more articles on deschooling.
Custom Search