The Sound of Learning:
A Curmudgeon Homeschooler Speaks Out

To me, picking the name was all about association.

I've been homeschooling for 17 years. Since 1993, to be exact. My kids are grown and gone now, but I'm still homeschooling. I homeschool me. I suppose that sounds funny. But homeschooling isn't just about educating kids, K-12, yearbook pictures, or donning caps and gowns. What we call 'school years' is a completely artificial construct. These years are supposed to prepare you for adulthood? Really. I've never had a job where they kept me sequestered in one section of the building, with nothing but employees exactly my age, who also happened to live in the same zip code. I never had to raise my hand to go to the bathroom, or had my fellow employees play tag with me or the mean ones chase me around to knock me down on my break. School is a world unto itself. It's just a building, a calendar and a bunch of people who're constantly thinking up ways to imitate real life. It has very little to do with real learning. I know that 'regimented schooly stuff' works for some people. (not many; just listen to dismal reports on school achievement on the nightly news) But, it didn't work very well for me and fared no better with my kids. It certainly doesn't suit me any better now.

Unschooling (the type of homeschooling we do) is all about learning to learn. And learning doesn't happen only during certain hours, or on certain days, or seasons of the year. It happens when it happens. And you don't need a license or a special certificate to participate. Learning (and teaching) comes from sisters and brothers, uncles and aunts, those in-laws you're not too crazy about, and even your crabby neighbor down the block. Learning occurs one morning when you get up at O-Dark-Thirty with your child to watch a sunrise in your jammies, holding a cup of steaming hot cocoa your Grandma showed you how to make when you were just a wee lass. You quietly relate the story to your young son while you make the cocoa, and now he's learning your Grandmother's recipe, too. Outside, the sun begins to rise and as you both sit down and snuggle under a warm blanket, he asks you why the sun 'rises' and 'sets'. And why is the grass wet? Why is the wet called 'dew'? And why are the birds so noisy? Shoudn't they still be sleeping? You answer him as best you can, in between all the questions. What you don't know, you'll look up together later. You've just touched on Astronomy, Geography, Math, Culture, Home Economics and History ... and you've only been up 30 minutes. Learning happens.

Learning to learn takes us (meaning: we parents and grandparents) on a journey, slowly changing us along the way, opening our eyes, taking us by surprise. We're a little amazed to find that, despite everything else going on in our lives, we still love to find out new things. We find that explaining, creating and then waiting for a simple baking soda and vinegar 'volcano' to erupt is not only fun, but it teaches us science we probably knew as a kid, but have since forgotten. We're amazed that we can spend chunks of days composing goofy song lyrics out loud with a 6 year old (to a song that will never be published), and that such things delight us more than any career-for-pay ever could. Homeschooling's not like what you see on TV. Our days are a crazy patchwork quilt, filled with 100 daily learning moments that inspire, intrigue, puzzle and spark our rusty imaginations, making us feel younger, more playful, more alive. We parents collapse into bed every night, exhausted, never having felt so good about the world or so close to our children.

That's what I was thinking about when I named this blog. All the laughter, all the fun we had. I never really expected FUN to be a part of homeschooling when I started. I was too worried about 'academics' and 'achievement'. I was missing the point. But my kids taught me. Our house was filled with fairly continual kid-noises of one sort or another, endless questions, giggling, story telling, impromptu field trips, science projects bubbling away on my stove, strange-looking lego creations all over the house -- each with a different, very specific purpose. (Hardly any of my youngest's contraptions worked, but that wasn't the point. Experimentation was the point.) And that, is the sound of learning. How I miss those years. They just flew by. I'm now waiting for grandchildren to come along (yes guys .... [Ahem] ... that means you).

I've heard parents sigh: homeschooling must be so much work. Why? Because you think you should be trying to receate that imitation school environment? Why on earth would you want to do that, when you have the real thing right in front of you? Create a rich learning environment -- books, people, movies, field trips, experiments, music -- and homeschooling won't be hard. You shouldn't have to drag anybody anywhere to do it. If that's what's happening, you're going about this all wrong. Take a breath, step back, stop trying to think like a 'school'. Remember that learning is a part of life and it should make you happy. To quote a famous line from The Sixth Sense, "....and I'm not talking about no – MMmm, this tastes like real butter kind of happy. I'm talking about … Julie Andrews, twirling 'round like a mental patient on a mountain top kind of happy!"

My sentiments exactly. And I did do some twirling around at times (yep, there are a few home movies, and nope, you don't get to see them), but thinking about Julie Andrews brought to mind yet another thought: The Sound of Music. How apropos! What a perfect metaphor! I mean, think about it. First we see her on that mountaintop, singing one of the most joyous songs ever written; an ode to the day, a shout of Welcome! to any new experience that might come her way. Most of the movie centers around her trying to contain herself, to please society, to behave and stop being her, but it's a losing battle. She's not like the other nuns. She's not like anyone. But everyone expects her to change, abide by the rules, act 'normally'. She doesn't, of course, and for the rest of the movie, containment goes right out the window. And we, as a society, celebrate that. We stand up and cheer. In movies, anyway. We love rogues who do things differently. So why do we react just the opposite when real people in real life march to their own drummer?

If you've seen The Sound Of Music, you know that Maria defies the norm. By staying true to herself, creates a better life for everyone around her. That's what unschoolers are trying to do, too.

For those of you that don't know, Maria is a real person. And this is the true (albeit Hollywood-ized) story of what happened to the blended von Trapp family. Of course, they didn't burst into song every 15 minutes (geez, I hope not), but it's definitely a great family movie. My sons and I watched it. Then we read the book for comparison. Talk about 'loosely based'! We didn't sit in front of a computer and google it, either. We got off our fannies and went to the library. We found fascinating (and horrifying) books and movies about Nazi Germany. We perused the geography of Austria, trying to figure out just how far the von Trapps had to travel to get to Switzerland. Then we took that number and, using our house as a starting point, tried to figure out where we'd end up if we traveled the same distance. Another question that popped up was, will Edelweiss grow here? Planting it? Heck, we couldn't even find it. We also wondered why anyone would write a song about a simple flower. That led to us think we too, could write songs (the boys also taught themselves to play the guitar). That was a spectacular failure, albeit a very funny one. Oh well. Mistakes are learning, too.

The Sound of Music --> The Sound of Learning. Learning should always feel this way. For me, it still does.